Leave a message

Despite the fact that I grew up in a very small town, Dickson, TN we have always had a telephone. As shocking as that may seem, I feel like I mastered the concept of making a phone call.  Even at the young age of 3 years old, I figured out how to dial 0 and tell the operator that my big brother was picking on me. The lady on the switchboard told me to tell him to stop, good advice, but that didn't work. The operator asked what my name was and after telling her not only my name, I also told her my life story. It was a short conversation, I was only 3.  The operator knew Mom (like I said it was a small town) and so I put her on the phone and magically my brother stopped picking on me.
So from an early age, I understood the concept of using the telephone, even learned at Granny and Granddaddy's house what a party line was, but that's another story.

Phones have changed a lot from that time. Now we have Droids, Iphones, Answering machines, bluetooth devices and even video phones, but the concept has not changed much, or has it. Back in the olden days when you made a call and no one was home it would ring and ring and ring until I hung up the phone.  Then came answering machines. Great concept. You dial the number and instead of the forever ringing, the person you were calling, if they knew how to pre-record a message, would answer and ask you to leave a message.  I picked up on this concept like a pro.

But now everything has changed. I seem to have lost any ability to leave a message. Now when I make a call, and no one answers, I get a pre-recorded message from the person that I was calling, telling me to leave a message. THEN an unknown lady butts in and is giving me all these OPTIONS!
"If you wish to leave a message wait for the tone, OR I can hang up, OR press 1 for more options!"  MORE OPTIONS!  Should I hang up, leave a message, throw my phone across the room, OH WAIT I can leave a message?  Maybe I'll press 1 and see just what my OTHER options are?  Okay, Okay I'll just leave a message.  I'm not sure I would like my other options.
Now every single time I make a call and no one answers, this lady gives me her speel again and again and again. I'm surprised I can even get out of bed in the mornings without this lady telling me what to do. "If you wish to get out of bed, pull back the covers and put your feet on the floor OR you can poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick for more OPTIONS!"